Psychological therapy
Therapy with a trained psychological professional works.
Psychologists see people after breakups all the time. Show up to your first appointment and say 'I've had a breakup and would like some help' and they will know what to do from there.
Don't give up if it doesn't work the first time. You may need to try more than one psychologist until you find the right fit.
You can find your own psychologist or ask your doctor to recommend one.
If you are in Australia, make an appointment with your GP and get a Mental Health Care Plan. This gives you 10 discounted sessions in a year.
Listen to others' breakup stories
Ask your friends and family to share their experience of breakup. What helped them? How did they get through it? What advice would they give?
Knowing you are not alone helps.
You can read others' experience on the BreakUps subreddit.
Or you can listen to the Everyone has an Ex Podcast to hear others' stories.
Connect with your loved ones
Now is the time to connect with your friends and family.
A breakup is a good time to rekindle old friendships.
Do things you love
Don't neglect the things you love doing.
A breakup is a good time to start a new hobby, or something you always wanted to try.
Be kind and gentle on yourself
Look into self-compassion meditation.
Make a list
Our brains naturally adopt an idealised picture of the relationship and ex-partner.
Make a list of the things that were not so good. Review this list when your brain starts to idealise things.
If you kept a journal during your relationship, extract entries that sense-check your idealised feelings into a single document. Pull this out when you need it.
Journal
Journaling is a great way to get feelings out.
You can buy a notebook and just start writing.
You can do it on a timer (say 20 minutes of writing) or on a number of pages (keep going until two pages are full).
Or you can do it digitally in a Google Doc. Put a password on it if you don't want anyone else accessing.
Time
Grief comes in waves, and healing is not linear.
But time is the greatest healer.
No contact
Many people swear by no-contact.
Here is a great list of reasons for this approach. It even has its own subreddit.
It doesn't suit everyone or every breakup, and it won't always be practical, e.g. in a co-parenting situation.
You can choose to do no contact for a time (say 6 months) before making contact again.
Music
Many people find breakup music therapeutic. There are endless breakup playlists online.